Something bad happened to a friend recently and I can identify, not because the same thing happened to me, but because I’ve been in a similar situation with vastly different results.

I hope she never has to go through something like that again and at the same time I’m grateful for my own positive experiences, some of which I’ll share here. The topic of this blog is favors and when someone asks for one. I’ve turned down people who come off as ungrateful offline, though those experiences are not recent, it’s mostly from my college days; at my job everyone is nice. As for online, all my experiences have been positive. Here I’m going to list some general traits related to those people and situations.

When my friends ask for something, they use phrasing such as “if you can,” “if you’re not too busy,” “when you have time,” etc. This shows that they know things take time and they appreciate it. It makes me want to help them as soon as possible because they’re being nice about it. I don’t like people who act entitled to favor and simply insist that they “need it.” I don’t just mean this in relation to the difference between “want” and “need.” Though to some this may sound cold, I don’t care what anyone needs, I care about what they earn.

Needing something is no reason for me to give it, but asking politely and respectfully goes a long way, it makes me gratefully to be friends with such nice people and thus I want to help them because I care. It’s my own appreciation for the person, rather than their real or perceived necessity, which motivates me to do something. It’s the satisfaction of making someone that you care for smile, but for that I have to have reasons to care first, if I don’t, I’ll just say no and no amount of necessity (real or perceived) or pleading would change my mind. Only earning that care could change my mind.

I decided not to mention anyone specific in this entry, as it’s a situation that could happen to anyone, though some of you may notice who these people are, both the positive and the negative. If you’re one of the positives, then thank you for being considerate and respectful; thank you for giving me the satisfaction of doing something for someone whom I believe deserves it. If you think you’re in the negative side, maybe you are, or maybe I have no idea who you are and it’s all coincidence, either way, you should reflect on this and wonder why you think it could be you.

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6 thoughts on “Appreciation

  1. It’s a lesson learned for both sides… well, a lesson learned from my side. I don’t think the other one cares LOL. But thank you for this insight. Sometimes our kindness and sincerity can become our weakness and that we can be taken advantage of because of that. On the other hand, it could be worse.


      1. Well, it’d take a miracle for her to actually *learn* how to be a real friend to others LOL. Yesterday, I actually received quite a lot of email about it, and well, unfortunately for her, they *all* knew who it was and according to what they said, I’m not the only one. :/


  2. I know what you mean on this post. I’m a graphic designer by hobby and I don’t mind doing things for friends but, you’re right, friends have to appreciate what you’re doing because it isn’t easy.


    1. I’m thankful that’s never happened to me directly, but it’s still awful to see it happen to a friend and fellow designer. It’s good to hear that you can relate too, though I hope this hasn’t happened to you.


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